listen to me

Listen to me

It's an outburst of emotions due to an accumulation of events.I just...couldn't take it anymore.Broke down in front of Heen this morn.I don't know how i do it.I don't know how to deal with all these baggages of people and growing up.I think i'm a v emotionally weak person,i'm not strong.Not the slightest bit.Though i really wanna toughen up myself.I can't deal with superficiality,i can't deal with insensitive remarks,i can't deal with unequal relationships,i can't deal a lot of things. I'd like to slap myself for being so sensitive and so childish.I'm not armed with equipment to fight the torrent of emotions tt i'm feeling,stuff tt i' going thru.

It's always been pushed to the back of my mind,and somehow,now and then,it kinda resurfaces and brings tears to my eyes.WHY? I don't know.I'd like to blame it on a lot of things but i dunno where to start. Don't like being taken for granted.I've kinda ignored it for a long time but things have taken a turn lately and i'm forcing myself to answer qns tt i don't want to ans.I'm so unstable i feel tt i'm built on sticks.And it's a horrid feeling knowing tt you don't even have someone to grapple and hold on to.No one listens.

I feel tt..people only care when you're laughing or cracking jokes.They might enjoy your company.But hey-anyone there when you're feeling sad,feeling blue? I've learnt to realise tt perhaps the only way to be happy is to MAKE yourself happy.But i'm only human.I do go thru the cycles of up and down.Today's the min pt of the trough=( Nvrtheless,i'd still like to count myself as blessed.Thanks Heen for being there today..know you'll always be! And really lots of people.Ok.After this entry,i shall mope no more(until further notice) and try to cheer myself up.Can't wait to see Plant on Fri! sth to look forward to!!

Hmm..someone said i can be quite ambiguous.Still can't fig out what tt means.But whatever it is,i'd like to say tt i'm not one who can bottle up emotions easily.I might say things to diff people,becos i feel tt sometimes i can relate certain stuff to them better.Doesn't everyone do the same thing? If i bottle stuff up,i'd go crazy! Anw,today morn in the concourse kinda cheered me up=) Was really funny.Dear God,i'd like to pray for a certain someone,(thanks for confiding in me) and i feel idiotic pouring my minute troubles out.Pray tt you'll give us strength to face each day bravely and i really hope tt things WILL become better.I'll always be there k,you know it! Amen.